Hello Lovely Followers,
It has been a while since I have written, and even though I have promised many blog posts, and personal experiences of my life as a young mom, anxiety, and photography, I decided to disappear instead.
This is who I am. And I do this constantly.
So for all of you following my blog posts, you have been warned.
I am possibly the worst blogger out there.
I come one day with many stories to share, feeling confident, feeling inspired, feeling like I’m winning at life; and then a taste of real life hits me, and my mind breaks-as I am fragile, and anxiety is lame. So I hide. Hide from friends, hide from Instagram, hide from the world.
Let me explain a little.
(Long explanation of my busy life below)
As a 25 year old, I’m still trying to finish school, and school is f**** hard.
Work has taken over the free space in my mind, that I usually save for creativity. This is probably the main reason why I haven’t been able to blog, take photos, or engage with anyone. As for the last month, my life has been depending on closing the books and the financial audit reports of a community college.
Oh yea because we need $$$$.
Something that also doesn’t come easily.
Something that keeps us from traveling, having many fancy brunches, fun outings, oh yea and our own place.
Yes this is why I also don’t share many photos showing you our perfect, modern decorated home (because we rent two rooms in my parents beautiful perfectly decorated home). San Diego rent is insane, and even though my husband has a decent architectural designer job, and I have an Accounting assistant job, our own place is just not possible just yet. This could easily be frustrating, but we are so thankful for what we have. We do, however, have enough for our little family, and everything Leo could possibly need.
We are almost there and I definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel for our own place and we will keep praying about it.
As most of this bares a huge weight on my shoulders of stress, some depression and anxiety, my boys (including our new Australian Shepherd– Indy) balance life out and bring me beautiful memorable weekends.
Any free time that I have, I spend singing, and dancing around with my boys. Enjoying the free lovely views in San Diego, and running and playing around like children. We make our own fancy brunches and dinners, and try to live a life full of wine, laughs, God, and live a life that is just ours.
There is no need to share stories, photos, or create any projects these days. Because simple photos may not be good enough for my insta, and creative photos take away time from my boys.
To be honest my insta has been annoying AF; and I might be done with the whole creative feed, or trying to be in engagement groups.
Because maybe… Just maybe I’m not good at this whole social media thing given that I have SOCIAL anxiety.
And I’m okay with that.
I decided that if this social media thing works out, it shouldn’t be something that stresses me out, or causes me anxiety.
And I don’t have to go by any rules that my feed has to be perfect, or that I have to stick with one theme.
Because even though I’m all about creativity, I believe to be more than that, and that there is art in every part of my life, not just when its modified by Photoshop.
I am constantly grateful for all the lovely friends and beautiful connections I have made on this platform, and will continue to enjoy everyone’s beautiful messages and comments even though I am terrible at replying or keeping up.
I promise I will keep working on Blog posts, as well as the ones I said I would write;
about anxiety medication; and a series of stories of what its like to be in an anxious mind.